Despite being surrounded by people – family, friends and even strangers in a busy crowd – many Thais say they still feel lonely, with office employees the most affected, according to a survey by a leading Thai university and its partners.
It found that their feelings of loneliness and isolation stem from little or no social and emotional connection with anyone.
However, experts say, the feelings of disconnection and detachment can be eased by good listening, good sharing and good support of one another.
A lonely nation
The feelings of loneliness and isolation are rampant among Thais.
A study on loneliness and isolation within Thai society by Chulalongkorn University’s Faculty of Psychology revealed that about 83% of all subjects reported that they feel lonely.
Overall, 65% of the subjects were classified as moderately lonely, while 18% were highly lonely and 17% others were not very lonely.
Reasons behind the feelings of loneliness and isolation can be explained by a lack of social and emotional connections.
The findings suggest that the group especially at risk of feeling lonely was comprised of those who live alone, those who live in a city and people with health problems.
When looking at loneliness based on occupation, the survey found that office workers experienced the highest level of loneliness.
“People appear to be more disconnected in today’s world. It’s like we’re in an elevator full of strangers. We stay close but we feel disconnected from people around us,” Dr. Somboon Jarukasemthawee said as he unveiled the survey’s findings in a seminar entitled “Lonely Nation” held at the Thai Health Promotion Foundation (ThaiHealth)’s office early this month.
Dr. Somboon is a lecturer in Clinical/Counseling Psychology at Chulalongkorn University’s Faculty of Psychology and leader of the survey team.
First of its kind in Thailand, the loneliness and isolation survey, which is supported by the ThaiHealth and JitArsa Bank, involved a total of 864 Thais aged between 18 and 75.
Loneliness and social isolation are linked, Dr. Somboon noted.
“Even you are surrounded by people, it doesn’t mean that you will not feel lonely. And marriage is not the cure to loneliness. Healthy, high-quality relationships with others matter most,” he said.
With regard to advice, the survey reported that 1 in 5 (20%) of the subjects said AI-generated recommendations were more favorable than those from family members and friends. This is probably because of AI’s ability to listen without judgment and give emphatic responses that reflect what people want to hear.
“The finding in this area shook me up. Honestly, I expected it to be zero per cent. This implies that humans don’t do their work as well as AI-generated therapists do,” Dr. Somboon said.
He urged people to train their emotional self-regulation, cultivate a sense of meaning in life and look for social support, saying these actions can help ease the feelings of loneliness and isolation.
He also recommended practicing volunteerism, which can allow lonely people to connect with others and build meaningful relationships, while contributing to society.
“Good listening is also an effective tool for beating loneliness. It’s an important skill everyone can develop and improve. By listening to other people, we make them feel heard, understood, connected and supported. And that connection can help reduce the feelings of isolation,” he said.
Loneliness epidemic is a reality
The grief and loneliness of losing a spouse can also be unbearable.
Siriwan, now 58, lost her husband six years ago. He died of cancer. She was married for 20+ years, with no children. Siriwan had nursed and supported him for more than five years, hoping for the best during his treatment journey. Unfortunately, treatment was unsuccessful.
“I didn’t know losing him could hurt so much. It’s like I have lost one of my important organs. I’m lost, confused and muddling through a new world without him,” she said.
Living alone, Siriwan has kept herself very busy working to heal her life and cope with the loss and loneliness. She surrounds herself with her family members, who have been emotionally supportive and instrumental in helping restore her life balance.
They often invited her for dinner and included her in their holiday plans.
Siriwan does have a circle of friends who also lend their support. They are always there for her in time of need. In one way, she appears not to be lonely at all.
No matter how close her family and friends may be, however, she said she still feels an ache inside that can’t be described.
“My husband was my best friend. He answered all my questions. I shared with him my thoughts, my feelings and my work. He comforted me when I had bad days at work. We did everything together. We dined out. We stopped by a store to buy food and groceries on our way home. He was my other half,” she said.
She avoided the store for the first two years after the loss as the place reminded her of him and the empty space in her life that she had not yet figured out how to fill.
There is nothing that compares to the intimacy of a long-term relationship. Siriwan said she often finds it difficult driving home alone on the darkest nights. Her husband usually drove and she was content to be the passenger in the seat beside him.
“I truly feel trapped and numb. Losing my husband makes me wonder who I am,” Siriwan said.
Good listening – a secret weapon for loneliness
ThaiHealth’s CEO Dr. Pongthep Wongwatcharapaiboon noted that loneliness can lead to psychiatric disorders including depression, anxiety and stress, which can directly affect physical health.
To help the public cope with loneliness through listening, ThaiHealth, together with JitArsa and Chulalongkorn University, run an “Every Problem Can Be Improved by Listening” campaign throughout November, which is dubbed as National Month of Listening.
The campaign is also intended to raise awareness about the importance of listening skills and promote understanding through listening.
The doctor urged people to develop and improve listening skills that can help bridge emotional gaps. He called on organizations and companies to create spaces for listening where people can share their thoughts and feelings and listen to one another, which opens up the possibilities for connection.
“The move is part of the activities that can help create a happy society and an environment that enables people to help each other,” Dr. Pongthep said.
Sorrayut Ratanapojnard, co-founder of JitArsa Bank, said the bank has arranged a series of activities throughout November to help people build listening skills, which can help maintain relationships and manage loneliness.
He urged people to connect with their inner self, saying spiritual health is happiness that stems from knowing and understanding oneself and seeing their connection with others, the world and nature.
“Listening is a basic tool you all can have to stay happy. It’s also a powerful tool that communicates you care for people through counseling, mentorship or just simply lending an ear to ensure that others are heard and understood,” he said.
Sorrayut urged people to take part in the activities by visiting https://Listen.HappinessisThailand.com where they can take a test to discover their listening potential and assess listening skills.
More than just fun and entertaining, the Listenian Game can help participants improve their listening skills and practice them through interactive listening, he added.
The bank and the ThaiHealth, Sorrayut noted, have worked together to create the “Listenian Card”, a tool that can help improve basic listening skills, enable people to catch their own thoughts and take care of others’ feelings and their own.
“We hope to see more and more organizations, companies and the community using the tool we created to develop their own spaces for listening or adjust it to fit with their cultures and their people,” he said.
